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Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
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Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML
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Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
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Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgewise for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
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Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
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Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
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Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
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Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML
Very funny! Celebrity cat was awesome.
LOL, cute